Good Intentions......

What is the old saying? Good intention are the pathway to hell? Okay, so that sounds a bit dramatic; however, I have found myself slipping back into "good intention" mode. At the beginning of the year I made some life decisions that I knew would challenge me physically, mentally and spiritually. I didn't want to continue saying, "I meant to....or I had good intentions". So I prayed and made peace with what challenges GOD had set for me. I joined WW the first week of January. I am currently down 30 pounds; however, I have gained and lost the same 3 pounds for the last month. Re- commitment is needed. Mentally I am burned out with college. I am happy that I am only 9 classes away from my Bachelor's; however, I just found out that I need 4 more classes that aren't included in my course studies....so....that's another 5 grand in cost's I didn't prepare for. In addition I have made a commitment to care for my 2 grandson's a full 3 days a week and 3 days from 3pm until 8pm. I love them so very much. It is becoming more difficult and seems to be taking away from me being a fun grandma to being their disciplinarian. With this comes unexpected feelings of loss and sadness for my daughter, Lovie. She has been gone for 12 years and I had made my peace with GOD so long ago that I am taken off guard as to these feelings of grief and despair. Again, I knew I would be challenged but I think all of these things have left me back where I was before January. I am searching for the path that will return me to the mind set I had found at the beginning of the year. I want that feeling of strength and positivity back in my heart. I am tired of falling back to "good intentions" as they have led no where but to sorrow and depression. As of today I will again pray for strength and wisdom to conquer life physically, mentally and spiritually with love, grace and faith. I am recommitting to my weight loss goals, taking a deep breathe with my grandchildren and praying for my release of grief for my precious Lovie. The first thing to do is to get my creative juices running and start stamping again. Look for some new posts this next week. Thank you for sticking with me and Peace be with you.